Luxury Cruising Editorial

This is a guest post written by a friend of mine who recently went on her first cruise. She wanted to share her unique perspective with you – enjoy!

As an autistic person preparing for my first cruise, I had no idea what to expect. On one hand it sounded incredibly exciting and, on the other, it sounded like a potential almost-week-long sensory overload that would be way, way out of my comfort zone.

There were plenty of challenges I was expecting, but actually I was surprised…

About Me

Of course, not all autistic people are the same, and so the challenges that you face might not be the same ones I did.

So, here’s a brief bit of information about me and my sensory profile:

I’m sensory avoidant when it comes to certain textures and tastes. With sound, I’m sensory seeking – the more noise, the better (unless I’m trying to hear what people are saying). I have audio processing difficulties, and also dyspraxia.

I struggle with bright lights, but at my age also have the typical age-related struggle to see in dim lighting. Those two are a great combination!

Socially I’m relatively confident but I also have to script all my speech, and as a result I struggle a lot when I’m put on the spot in conversations I’ve not scripted in advance. I also struggle enormously with crowds and busy places.

So, how did this autistic near-middle-aged woman find cruising?

Embarkation – Getting Onboard!

1. Saying Goodbye to the Suitcases

There’s something really unnerving about setting your suitcase down amongst a hundred others and walking away. As someone very attached to my belongings, I found that difficult.

For a while I insisted we stand and watch until I was sure they’d been loaded. After several minutes of them being pushed from side to side as others were loaded instead, I found myself able to trust the process (after all, nobody had run away with them by now!) and left to head through security.

2. Getting Through Security

I wear a sunflower lanyard, and so does my (ADHD) daughter. The moment we stepped into the main building for security, someone walked over to us and welcomed us with a discreet but friendly “Hi, please follow me this way!”.

We were led straight to a fast-track queue, and were the only people in it.

Not having to queue helped both myself and my daughter enormously – she’d struggle with the wait, and I’d struggle with being surrounded by people whilst also trying to cope with a new environment.

When we reached the front it was suddenly time for our hand luggage to go through the scanners. Luckily, being the only people in this particular lane I had time to work things out in a situation that’s always high-pressure and can lead to meltdowns.

I could crouch on the floor, go through my bag at my own pace and remove the necessary items without feeling rushed. Within minutes we were through security and onto the ship!

I almost cried – not because I was overwhelmed, but because I was so relieved and happy. A rarity when travelling!

It’s Nowhere Near as Overwhelming as Airports!

At airports I find the sunflower lanyard is largely ignored unless you’ve specifically requested assistance, which I don’t.

Even when it’s noticed and you’re given extra support, it feels like it’s given begrudgingly. Staff often sound rude and snappy, or rush you, or get annoyed if you struggle to understand them.

In Southampton, I felt like people really cared. Everything felt efficient and professional, yet welcoming and safe.

The Ship Overall

3. Managing The Crowd Levels – Not Too Bad!

I’d imagined that boarding the ship amongst everyone else would feel like too much immediately, and I was very conscious of the fact I wouldn’t immediately have my own private space to retreat to – it would be at least an hour until our stateroom was ready.

This had me predicting that I’d be close to meltdown, hiding in a corridor or stairwell, just trying to escape the crowds.

Yet, the ship is so big that even with everyone onboard, you can still find lots of quiet spaces. And that was the case from the first moments on the ship, right through to the last.

Since there were plenty of activities and hangout spaces to choose from onboard, it was rare that large crowds seemed to congregate in one place. With a couple of exceptions…

4. Handling The Few Crowded Places

The two places I found consistently crowded were the Windjammer at breakfast specifically (some days worse than others, but always overwhelming, more on that later!), and the Schooner Bar.

We autistics love a good quiz, so there were lots of ‘name that tune’ and ‘trivia’ sessions I wanted to be a part of, yet the Schooner Bar simply isn’t designed for the number of quizzers it attracts. Every quiz came with the extra challenge of lots of overwhelm to navigate.

There aren’t anywhere near enough seats, and even every inch of standing space gets filled. I’m grateful to have had my husband to seek out the safest spaces for me, though we did get it wrong when we tried to take up a spot at the bar and I had people crowding me and leaning over to order drinks.

In the end, standing around the piano near the quiz host was my favourite spot and I’d recommend that if you can get it.

My daughter, meanwhile, having experienced the Schooner Bar once didn’t stick around for any other quizzes – too overwhelmed to cope, she chose to go back to our room and sit them out.

Well-Designed Spaces Really Helped

Issues with the Schooner Bar aside (a negative on a ship of positives!), I was in awe of how suited to my needs the rest of the space felt.

Rooms like the lounges had the tables separate enough that they didn’t feel overcrowded even when full. I always felt like I had my own safe space, with enough of a barrier between myself and other people. Things like solid, high-backed chairs helped with that feeling of a barrier, too.

The space between tables and chairs, even in rooms full of them, also meant that I could move between and around them pretty easily. That’s so rarely the case with my dyspraxia!

5. Temperature Regulation is Tough!

Temperature regulation was a real challenge onboard the ship.

As someone that’s naturally cold-sensitive, I’d been really concerned about how I’d feel on deck out at sea. What I hadn’t considered was how much I’d struggle with the indoor spaces, where temperatures could vary suddenly from room to room and deck to deck.

Although the ice rink was nowhere near as cold as I’d anticipated…

I’m one of those ‘can’t change my outfit once I’m wearing it’ autistics. Whatever I put on in the morning feels ‘safe’ and it’s really challenging for me to add or remove layers.

On this ship I simply had to force myself to do that, because things changed so much. You’d go up one flight of stairs from a comfortable space, and be met by stifling heat, then you’d go into a different room and things would change again. And if you stepped onto an open deck, then you were changing again!

It was manageable if we were just passing through, but of course you’re often not.

As the week went on, I learned to predict the temperatures of various spaces a little better, and plan my outfits based on where I knew we’d be spending most of our time. But, that’s a definite learning journey I had to go on.

6. Light Sensitivity – Not a Problem (Mostly)!

The ambient lighting throughout the ship is warm and soft. There are very few areas where fluorescent lighting is used. Even given the large number of windows around the ship, I never found that the sun shone in at levels too bright to cope with.

Indoors, I was able to wear my normal glasses without struggling with light sensitivity.

Being out on deck on a sunny day is a whole different experience. I’d have to switch to my sunglasses every time I wanted to go outside, then switch back when I moved inside again.

7. Noise Levels & Noise Issues

Of course, there are a lot of loud places on a cruise ship.

Expect loud music, public parties and lots of talking. As someone that doesn’t mind a lot of noise, that wasn’t an issue for me but could be for others.

That said, the soundproofing seemed excellent so when you were in a loud space it was very loud, but as soon as you got out the noise stopped.

We heard no noise through our stateroom walls, and there were plenty of quiet corridors and little seating areas where there was relative calm.

For those with audio processing struggles, a word of warning: whilst announcements onboard were loud and clear, the handheld microphones used by staff throughout the ship were pretty terrible.

They were extremely muffled, and sometimes cut out momentarily. As someone with audio processing difficulties, this meant that I couldn’t hear any of what was said when people were speaking through microphones.

It meant I missed all the speaking during the Sail Away party, which was a shame, and also the instructions given to my husband and daughter when they took part in the on-board ‘Field Day’ games – thank goodness I wasn’t taking part!

A Little Tip for Overwhelmed Cruisers

For the more sensory-avoidant cruisers, the on-board library would be an ideal space.

Quiet, with lots of seating. There was a communal jigsaw to work on, which was a lovely touch for those not wanting to read or use the PCs.

And as I discovered (on the last night only, unfortunately), they also have some printed trivia sheets, which they swap out daily – perfect if you like a set routine. So if you did want to do trivia quietly, you could grab one and work on it in peace.

Dining & Eating Onboard

8. Working Around a Limited Diet – What’s Available?

Let’s face it – one of the highlights of a cruise is the ‘free’ food!

As someone with quite a limited diet (made even more limited by the fact I’m vegetarian), I had my concerns.

On a recent trip to Egypt I survived 10 days eating nothing but tomato pasta and fries, and as much as I loved the trip it felt miserable to dine like that, and I didn’t look forward to mealtimes.

On Indy, no such problems!

We had decided in advance to avoid the Main Dining Room purely because we knew it would be difficult for all of us to find things we like. So we stuck to the Windjammer Marketplace for most meals, which is the included buffet.

It included so many options that I had different foods to look forward to every day, and quickly found safe options that I knew I’d like.

Importantly, many foods came plain with the option to customise and add. When you got a burger, you built it yourself to your liking. At the pasta station, the pasta was left plain with optional sauces. So even those with really restricted diets, and difficulties with mixed textures, could hopefully find something to suit them!

9. Windjammer Buffet Crowd Levels

Within the Windjammer venue, everything was spaced well enough that it never felt overcrowded as long as you were moving along.

I often struggle with buffet-style dining because I can’t predict how other people will move and I feel constantly crowded and surrounded. I didn’t have that issue in the Windjammer on the first evening, or on any other.

The only time I did get overwhelmed was at the burger station, where if you wanted a vegetarian burger it would be cooked-to-order.

This was the one issue on my first evening onboard, because as soon as I had to wait in one place I felt suddenly suffocated by the crowds moving around me. I quickly learned to stick to foods that were on display and ready to go!

Breakfast: A Different Experience

Whilst evening meals always felt manageable, including on the very first day, breakfasts were so much busier!

At breakfast on my first morning onboard, I was immediately overwhelmed. It felt like everyone was in the same room at the exact same time. I’d scouted out where the eggs were, I’d found the bread products, and I planned to combine these as quickly as possible and then add a couple of hash browns.

Thankfully, my husband scouted even more efficiently and found pre-made egg and cheese burritos which I really did appreciate for ease!

By our second morning I was more confident with locating the items I wanted for a quick ‘get in, grab the food, get out’ approach.

Still, throughout the entire cruise it didn’t seem to matter what time we went for breakfast, the crowds never let up!

Thankfully the amount of space to move around, and the number of food options, still ensured that things never felt too bad, but there were times when I found breakfast really difficult (and times when we had to walk in circles looking for a table), and it was never a nice, relaxing start to the day.

So Many Dining Options!

Of course, the great thing is that I didn’t ever need to eat at the Windjammer. Whilst we stuck to the free and casual dining options, this also meant I could get pizza from Sorrento’s or a sandwich from the on-board café, plus chips from Fish & Ships near the pool.

I was never short of food options and if I didn’t feel able to manage a whole sit-down meal, I could quickly grab a bite to eat and graze wherever I wanted.

Also, wherever you choose to get your food you can always take it back to your room and eat in private! There’s never any need to be out of your room for long, if you prefer your own space.

Drinking On The Cruise

10. Availability of Soft Drinks

We paid for a drinks package, just for soft drinks. As someone that’s unable to drink plain water, this wasn’t just a nice-to-have but an essential purchase.

Whilst I loved being able to access unlimited soft drinks (and the choice is vast!) there were a few downsides for me.

Firstly, the Coca Cola Freestyle machines are few and far between and in some of the busiest places – the main promenade and the Windjammer buffet area, for example.

This meant refilling amongst the crowds, with the pressure of people waiting for their turn, which I found incredibly overwhelming. That was an ongoing issue for the whole trip, though definitely worse on the first day when the queues for drinks felt much longer!

11. Refillable Cup Problems

It’s worth mentioning that the refillable cup you receive – though beautiful – has no handle. My dyspraxia makes it hard for me to carry things for very long, and especially with the lack of handle this was a real challenge that added to my struggles every day.

Though the cup seemed to seal well, it leaked in the side pocket of my backpack. This meant that I had no choice but to carry it around most of the time, which was something I did struggle a lot with.

I’d love if it came with an optional lanyard clip to hang hands-free, or sealed properly for storage in a bag. If I’d known in advance, I’d have bought my own crossbody bottle/tumbler holder before boarding!

As it was, if I knew I was going somewhere with a bar I’d leave my cup in my room and order at the bar so I didn’t have to carry my drink around. Of course, often you’re moving around the ship and need to keep your drink with you.

My Stateroom Onboard

12. Size and Layout Concerns – Not For Me!

I’m one of those ‘loves small spaces’ autistics, so I was in heaven in my small stateroom.

The beds were separated from the main living space by curtains, so a few people sharing a room could still have an element of privacy.

13. Towel Size Was Problematic

If you’re someone that struggles with the sensory transition of wet-to-dry and getting out of the shower, the towels won’t help with that.

I knew they were provided but if I’d have known how small they were I would definitely have brought my own.

They were just about big enough to wrap around me as a mini-skirt, and I’m not the biggest adult.

Just a word of warning!

14. Housekeeping Intrusions – Our Cabin Assistant Was Brilliant, But…

It’s worth me saying that I’m the person that refuses housekeeping in a hotel, whenever possible. When I’m away from home, my room is my safe space and any intrusion makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, just as it would if someone walked into my house back on land.

Of course, some hotels insist on it and I just have to cope. But, where possible, I’ll refuse this service.

What I found was that my discomfort felt so much worse on the cruise.

On the first day, we met the attendant that would be servicing our room every day. She introduced herself in person and asked some questions about our preferences.

It’s friendly and professional, but for me it meant putting a name and face to the person that would be ‘invading’ my safe space. I struggled even more, with that knowledge.

Interestingly it’s also worth noting, though we ended up grateful for this over the coming days when we were tired in the afternoons and wanted a break, that though we were given the option of ‘morning’ or ‘afternoon’ housekeeping and chose afternoon thinking we’d be out and about, every day we came back to find the room had already been serviced in the morning.

Not a problem for us, but something people may want to be aware of if they feel they need predictability.

A Safe Space Moments Away

Even with the above complaints, that stateroom did remain my safe space, and I absolutely loved that I was never more than a few minutes from it.

On a typical holiday you might go out for the day, then have to factor in the return journey. Usually, I spend every trip carefully evaluating my overwhelm levels, predicting when I might reach my limit, and factoring in the journey back to safety at the end of the day.

My best regulation tools are very rarely close at hand. And if I got overwhelmed out and about? Well, I’d just have to deal with it. Onboard the ship, that’s something I didn’t have to worry about.

I could make the most of everything on the ship, knowing I was just a very short walk from my stateroom as soon as I needed a break.

That knowledge allowed me to relax and enjoy every moment. I could do things I would never usually cope with, and properly enjoy them, because I knew that I had an escape route (and all my regulation tools) just moments away.

Disembarking

15. Queues and Crowd Levels When Leaving The Ship

Leaving the ship meant queuing for around 20 minutes, without the sunflower lanyard benefits we’d enjoyed when we left Southampton.

Our queue took us on a full loop of the Dining Room but, for the most part, was calm and manageable. My ADHD daughter struggled a little with the wait, but 20 minutes is about her maximum limit so things didn’t get too dicey.

Meanwhile I’m alright waiting, but the overwhelm increases as time goes on because I’m building up to the ‘unknown’ – the point at the end of the wait where something’s going to happen.

In this case, the ‘something’ that happened was my card was scanned (manageable) to allow me to leave the ship, and then we bottlenecked to enter the gangway (less manageable).

People were coming at the gangway from different directions, and those with wheelchair assistance were also trying to get down having fast-tracked, so there were three queues of people all merging into one to enter a narrow tunnel.

For me, this kind of thing is a disaster – I can’t predict when people will move, or work out when it should be my turn, and of course I feel like I’m surrounded, and the resulting overwhelm made this final bit of the cruise experience a real challenge.

In my case I’m lucky that my husband knows to take the lead in these situations, and I keep my head down and just follow his feet whilst trying to block out my surroundings. This wasn’t a long-lasting part of the experience, but felt very different to when we’d arrived and the process had gone so smoothly!

My Final Thoughts

If you’re neurodivergent, you’ll know that everyday life is overwhelming for so many reasons.

Whilst the Independence of the Seas was far from being a ‘dream space’ where overwhelm is eradicated by thoughtful planning and ND-friendly environments, I’d say it’s better in general than most.

Yes there were challenges, but as you can see, most of them were actually quite manageable!

I could easily have wrapped myself up in the cruise ship world forever, never venturing onto land again! The Independence of the Seas has been designed, for the most part, with the crowd levels in mind.

As well as the amount of space available, the crucial difference is choice.

There are so many ways to spend your time, so many quiet spots if you need them, and so many ways to access the essentials onboard, so you can really tailor your cruise to meet your needs. And when it all gets too much? Your stateroom is just moments away!

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Jenni Fielding is the founder of Cruise Mummy. She has worked in the cruise industry since 2015 and has taken over 30 cruises. Now, she helps over 1 million people per month to plan their perfect cruise holidays.

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